Halloween Fun

We went to the Haunted Walk at Prospect Park last weekend and were totally impressed with how great it was. Spooky music and scary creatures, plus there wasn't a crowd (probably due to the rain, which just added to the atmosphere for us). Free, too!

After the walk in the woods, we got up close to some snakes and spiders at the Audubon Center, took a spin on the Carousel, and listened to spooky stories at the Lefferts Historic House. The girls had great fun and so did we.

Tonight we carved pumpkins, tomorrow we trick-or-treat; it's my favorite time of year. I was so blissed-out at the park on Saturday that I told Tom no matter what the future brings, I will never be sorry we moved here. New York in the fall is gorgeous. Somebody pinch me.

Story Time Again

Just in case you thought I was exaggerating about the library story time thing last week, the Kensington Blog has done a post on it.

See, I told you so! I did not go back this week, so I didn't witness the story time security guard. Oh, the drama.

What I Want

I want to spend my days knitting, baking cupcakes, sewing dresses for my girls, homeschooling, writing, and generally being crafty and clever and amazing (like Amanda and Jane and Alicia) and I also want to have a busy and important career that requires me to put on makeup and a dress and go into Manhattan every morning, child-free.

I want to work at home with Tom, collaborating on brilliant graphic novels which I write and he illustrates, and have lunch together and bounce ideas off each other all day (like Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne) but I also kind of want at least one of us to leave the house and go to a "real job" every day because I'm afraid if we don't, we will chafe on each other until every last ounce of love and passion is gone from our marriage.

I want to live in SoHo or the East Village (very tiny very expensive apartments), no wait - I want to live in Brooklyn Heights or Boerum Hill (expensive again) and I want to have another baby (no, I don't, yes, I do, no, I don't) and I never want to go through the hell of moving again. So I guess I want to buy the apartment we're living in now so we can stay here forever. Except where will the new baby go? Oh wait, we're not having one.

I want to be an attached parent and nurse my girl for as long as she wants, but I also want to be able to leave her with a sitter so that Tom and I can go explore Manhattan as grown-ups.

I want to concentrate on appreciating the things I have and stop stressing out about things I think I want but which would actually not make me happy. Because actually, I am happy. I'm very happy. What the hell is wrong with me, anyway? I'm such a whiner.

New York is great. I'm great. I think I just needed to leave the apartment today, but the big girl wanted to chill at home all day, and I gave in to her because sometimes I think she should get to call the shots, even if it makes me crazy. I'll get out tomorrow.

It's a MILF-Eat-MILF World

For the past three weeks, V and I have been trying to get to the 10am Toddler Story Time at the library near our apartment. The first week we wanted to go, we ended up at the doctor's office instead, because the horrible cough she's had for weeks had gotten worse overnight. Diagnosis: garden-variety cough caused by post-nasal drip. Hmph.

So the next week, we turned up at the library at 10:01am. A librarian rushed us at the door, explaining that we were too late, we'd have to try again at 4pm, or next week, and meanwhile, did we have a flyer for the upcoming klezmer concert and the kids' reading program? Um, no. She bustled around and shoved papers at us, not content to let us browse in peace. In order to appease her, I filled out the form to get V a library card, even though I don't really think she needs her own library card yet (she's two, people!). I could hear toddlers clapping and singing behind a closed door, but every time I glanced toward it, the librarian snapped at me. "NO! You are too late!" We tried hanging out and looking at books for a while, but she kept hovering over us so we finally left.

This morning, I got V all gussied up in ponytails and a "pitty dess, mama!" and we headed out with time to spare. We walked in at 9:55 and found a long line of moms and toddlers waiting to go in the story time room. We got into line, pleased that we'd finally made it. V was smiling and excited. But as the moms started filing into the room, I noticed that they were handing the librarian tickets. Wait, tickets? I had no ticket. Several moms noticed this at the same time as I did, and they pushed past me with scornful looks.
"You have to have a ticket, you know."
"Why don't you come back at 4 o'clock?"
"You don't have a ticket?"
Was it my imagination, or were they gloating? Abashed, I went over to the circulation desk and asked where I might get a ticket. The librarian (not the overeager one from last week, but a different, angry-looking one) told me that the tickets were gone, and I should have arrived when they opened, at 9, to stand in line for a ticket. She shoved a library schedule at me.

Yeah, I have the library schedule already. You know what it says? It says story time is at 10am. It doesn't say that you have to show up at 9am and stand in line for a fucking ticket, or else be sneered at by all the other mommies and run off by the librarian. Welcome to New York, right?

Fuck story time.