Monday, March 21, 2011

Monday Morning, 8AM

In my effort to expose the girls to the news a bit more and be less overprotective, I turned the radio up loud enough so the girls could listen to Morning Edition with me today while they had breakfast and I packed their lunches.  When I switched it on, they were doing a story about sex education and teen pregnancy prevention programs.  Awesome.

"What did they just SAY?"  Molly demanded, looking scandalized.  "They're talking about sex," I said.  (I was only halfway through my first cup of coffee - what do you want?)  "MOM!  Violet's going to hear you!  Don't say that WORD!" 

Ah, Violet - our innocent kindergartner.  She was riding the train with me the other day and asked if she could listen to my iPod.  As I put the earbuds in her sweet little ears, she turned to me and whispered "Mom, do you have "Fuckin' Perfect" on here?"  This was on a packed subway car, by the way.  And it was a stage whisper.  Mom of the Year, yet again.  (In case you're wondering, yes I did have "Fuckin' Perfect" on my iPod, and yes I did let her listen to it. Shut up.)

Back to the breakfast table and NPR: I already said I hadn't had enough coffee, right? I am really  not equipped to have a serious conversation about sex education and teen pregnancy at 8AM.  Instead, I performed a rousing rendition of Jermaine Stewart's classic "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" and danced around the kitchen while making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  I can't believe I still remember that song.  (You know what I want to know?  What IS cherry wine, anyway? Boone's Farm?)  I think the kids liked it.  Also, they never want to be seen in public with me again.  Oh, well.


Rob K said...

Wow! I remember that song! A friend of mine used to sing "we don't have to take our clothes off, but it sure helps!"

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

You'll see him again soon -IF- you believe - Acts 2:21 Here's what Heaven shall be like for those dudes who keep their pants zipped --- HEAR YE! O HEAR YE! Wanna be at my BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy celebrating our resurrection for eons and eons in Heaven Above, girly? A profusion of peace, eternal plethora of paradise, palm trees, 72ish degrees, fuzzy-navels, point-blank, passion-in-primetime, pink, picturesque-portions-we’ll-possess, delicious-and-nutritious perennial pleasures, too, without price, nor pride, without passwords, nor plastic, nor pretext. You’re more than welcome, girl; you’re definitely invited - God’s calling you through this sinfull mortal. Whether you respond YAY or NAY is up to you --- God only gives bawls to those who see the need for humility, Miss Indelible. God bless you.

Annie said...

I don't normally publish spam comments, but I kind of love this one. I think it's the "you're more than welcome, girl" line - gotta like anyone who can keep "your" and "you're" straight. Plus I like being called "girl" for some weird reason.